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Adulthood
08.10.06 (2:24 pm)   [edit]

Being an elderly woman, I sat on a wooden bench located beside a still pond.  The day was pleasantly  springlike, and I rested my cane on a small space beside me.  Birds pranced around my feet, and bumblebees blended with the yellow flowers they were busily working with.  It was the most beautiful day I had seen in years, and it was unfortunate I didn't have anyone to share it with. 

Suddenly, a young girl came and sat next to me.  She had to be around seven or eight--youg and precious.  She held flowers in her hand that she cupped lightly, but firmly.  She looked like a small mother...mother of the flowers she was holding...holding them as she would hold a rare ruby found on a seashore.  I looked into her eyes and I saw my youth...I saw my childhood so clearly...so crisp, and it was hard for me not to continue looking deeply into her eyes.  She simutaneously looked at me...as though she was looking into the future.  Breaking the silence she said, "How does it feel to be an adult?  Isn't it cool being able to do whatever you please?"  And suddenly it hit me.  She was me.  At her age, those words circulated through my mind constantly.  I dreamed of being free from obligation and rule.  I remembered getting my first state ID...my first summons to jury duty...my first bill, and thus, I sighed. 

I said to her, "There is no such thing as being an adult."  She looked puzzled...baffled at this information she obviously held close to her chest in the same manner that she carried her flowers.  She said in a low, confused tone, "No such thing?"  Confirming my previous statement, I said, "There is no such thing as being an adult.  We are all...children."  I grabbed my cain and decided to take a stroll on the walking path...and I heard a voice say, "Being an adult is when you can admit you were wrong.  Being an adult is when you live life in complete humility.  Being an adult is when you are certain that you are uncertain.  Being an adult is when you know nothing can complete your life like God's love.  Being an adult is admitting that you are a lifelong child."  A breeze came...and finally, I was at rest.

 
And Now She's Gone
08.06.06 (11:59 pm)   [edit]
Why even strike a match to give myself light?  I deserve no light...and as I sit in this pit, I hope that the dirt-made walls would come tumbling down atop my head, burying me...to be seen no more...to be gone forever.  And all the world would be happy, wouldn't they?  I was nothing to them...a frown...a tear...a sigh, and they, being together in all their glory, were a step higher than me...me, the waste--the nothingness.  So why bother?  Why not be buried?  Rubble all around me and my life trickling out drip by drip...giving life to the creatures that live below...air they wouldn't ever receive unless they were to creep to the surface.  And before I finally inhale, I notice a mirror in my left hand.  I stare at that reflection...the reflection that disgusts me...and I see nothing...and I feel nothing.  I am removed from that image, and as I stare at her, I am staring at a stranger...someone of no worth...someone who would make life easier for everyone else if she were to...pass.